Do not adjust your televisison set!

And so....."A new age begins"...... Hi, I'm Joey Patroni, you may remember me from such films as 'Airport' and 'Airport 80: The Concorde' .... I shall begin my two week reign as dictator of this small, yet well oiled country..... "just dont mention the war! I did once, but I think I got away with it!"...... My regime will acknowledge the fact that we are indeed at war, however we shall now "put it away, and never speak of it again"......There is enough evil, carnage and mass destruction in the world as it is.... the less said about it - the better. Anyway, 'The Core' has just been released worldwide, and I am yet to see it. (notice the Irony). I, like my colleague, feel ashamed that it has taken me over three days to see it.... please forgive me.
It is with great sadness that I have just bid farewell to Mr Russell..... who "unfortunately will not be joining us for the rest of his life!"..... well, more like two weeks, but until then, you are stuck here with me "and stuck together, thanks to you people!" In the last ohh about ten seconds, I have decided to watch 'The Mummy', 'The Mummy Returns', 'The Scorpion King' and any other Egyptologically-linked movie I can think of. Then, I can ask some really inteligent questions such as 'see much sand?'
But, back to films........I'm gonna see 'Ghandi' tomorrow at the cinema! Nahh nahh!!! When I say that, I mean I'm going to see Attenboroughs movie... not the real corpse.... Then.... I shall be going to Southampton to a lecture with Xavier Mendik (yes! him, the one from the Driller Killer DVD) in which he is going to talk about 'Shocking Cinema of the Seventies' coupled with a full screening of Tobe Hoopers 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' in the cinema there! I am looking forward to it. I feel sorry for Russ, but I won't do when he's riding camels and I'm not. "I think we've just picked up Dracula"...... "Look what your Brother did!!" .... "The film which you are about to see, is the account of a tragedy which befel a group of five youths - in particular, Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother, Franklin. It is all the more tragic that they were young, but had they lived very long lives, they could not have expected - not would they have wished to see as much of the mad, and macabre as they were to see that day.... the events of that day were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history.... The Texas Chain Saw Massacre."

There, I got that out of my system. I don't know what anyone thinks of TTCM, but I would be interested to know if anyone liked it. Or indeed if anyone has seen any of the three sequals. I have them all on video, and was impressed with the third one 'Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3'.... but was utterly despairing at the second and fourth ones (even though it is still Renee Zellweggers best role to date..... including Chicago) .... Yes..... BRIGET JONES IS BAD! LA LA LA!! I CAN SAY ANYTHING I LIKE!
*cough* excuse me for that.. outburst.
I am leaving now because the time is........ shit its 3.00 in the morning... am I REALLY a geek?
Take care, happy travels Russ. the place is in safe hands!!!! Whooah ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
"Good Morning, oh and incase I don't see ya, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, and Goodnight!!!!

I'm off then. Almost to say my proper goodbye. Was only just reminded by my second-in-command. Now, isn't it ironic that my second-in-command has to manage me, don't you think? Highly typical though.

You are being left in highly capable hands. So, no worries. I'll be back in no time. See you soon.


Firstly, I'd like to apologise for my really crap blogging of late. It has been very rude of me, but, unfortunately, I have been under the influence of the all-consuming hellish nightmare that is coursework. Even ruder of me, however, is my imminent departure to jet off for the sunny sands of Egypt [I realise how crazy that may sound considering current affairs, but I'll be fine - it's them you ought to be worried about ;)]

Secondly, I'd like to apologise for lying about going to see The Core. I didn't. I would have liked to, but unfortunately, it did not come to pass.

However, on the lighter side of things, despite my aforementioned "imminent departure", there should be loads of new stuff on its way ['stuff' is such a specific term ;)]. For instance, while I'm away, I hope to catch up on some adaptations, or to be more precise, novels that have been adapted into celluloid, i.e. Michael Cunningham's The Hours, Max Allan Collins's Road To Perdition and Bret Easton Ellis's The Rules Of Attraction. I've got some war literature and King Lear to read too. I'm going to be the bestest Literature student in the world ever, ever, ever. Hopefully, reading those novels will give me some incentive to see the movies [yes, I have not seen Road To Perdition, and yes, I am rather ashamed of that - I've just got it on DVD though, and should watch it on my return. Somewhen].

I guess that's it. If I don't post again before I leave, then do try to live life without me. To the full, brimmed with movie-watching, and a little reading, writing, some music. I leave you in the capable hands of Joey - I think. He, too, may be a little busy with coursework, though, hopefully, he'll be able to write an nice, informative post on April Fools Day on 70's Extreme Cinema. "TTFN - ta-ta for now" :)

Oh, yeah, and how d'ya like my subliminal messaging :)


Cinema Expedition!
Only a quickie here. Basically, before I depart on Monday for Egypt, I thought I'd try to make one last trip to the cinema. One last trip before I go, not one last trip ever. Unless I die. But let's not go into that.

Because I had the audacity to include it in my list of upcoming UK releases, my mission, should I choose to accept it (er, yeah right!), is to go and see The Core. Should be going to the 6.40pm showing on Friday (that's the 28th) at the Newport, Isle of Wight branch of Cineworld. Er, see you there. Unless you live in Timbuktu or somewhere really far away [I was tempted to write stupid, but felt that would be a little pompous of me ;)]


Life is beautiful?(not sure about that!)
Unfortunately for me, I had something of a bad day today. Seeing as I'll be in Egypt this time next week, I need to hand in all my English Literature and Film Studies coursework this Friday. Now, at four o'clock this morning, said Literature coursework was nigh on completion. I guess that was a little too good to be true. Saved it to a floppy disk, everything seemed fine. Damn computer saved it on to a 'bad cluster' or something. The whole fucking lot was lost. What a bugger!

I did get round to watching not one, but TWO movies today: Wild at Heart (for my Lynch project), and The Fellowship Of The Ring (as a treat). And I would be tempted to talk about either of them, if I weren't so fucking pissed off. Perhaps when I've calmed down a bit, I'll find something relevant to say, but for the time being, please pity me! "Pity!? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand!"


I never did get around to doing my piece on Rachel Leigh Cook's future projects. I guess I got a little carried away worshipping Josie and the Pussycats, which I am almost tempted to sit down and watch again. I will control myself, however.

You may remember me talking about the movie Bookies a couple of days back now. Then (with Lukas Haas) as now (with Leigh Cook), I didn't really have all that much to write about. Again, as with Haas's character (Casey), there is little background info on Cook's character Hunter. The lack of a UK release date also remains the same. The same applies to her character Ruthie in The Big Empty - no character info, no release date, and again with 11:14. How productive was that!? Yes, I know, not very. I may have well just as scratched my arse than write that inconsequential piece of shite, but I haven't got anything better to do. Well, I have. I just don't want to do any more work on Literature right now.


Greetings, It would seem that I have been labeled as one of those people who are 'actually out partying on a Friday night', however I also managed to squeeze a trip to the cinema into the works. Have I wronged? I decided to spend my money on a viewing of..... 'National Security'. Because I (for once) am the one who has not seen the movie in hand (Josie...) I shall tell you a small amount about this particular movie. Martin Lawrence, hmm. Bad Boys was a classic. But, unfortunately for NS it seemed that the Trailer for Bad Boys 2 which preceeded it was not only better, but also received more reaction from the audience than the feature. On the Sean William Scott front, I was surprised to see that he is indeed still alive, (thankfully not 'American Wedding' yet!) and will be back in our cinemas soon with the hysterically titled 'Bulletproof Monk' . HA HA!! Its even funnier when spoken by the rasping American voice over guy. We laughed anyway.
The mis-mached cops thing, with the racial jokes thing, with the blundering situation thing? Damn I WISH I'd seen that before in every other film with Martin Lawrence! (sarcasm by the way). The X2 posters are up.... Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Magneto, Storm, Professor X, and they are fairly impressive. More so than the teaser trailer.

I'm sorry but it has to be said. Television is usually beyond poor. Even acclaimed television (such as, hmm let me pick something at random, err Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, hmm, maybe I've offended) but just recently there is one program I have enjoyed for hours on end with no breaks or even a wavering attention span. This wonderful show is..... the news. ITV, BBC News 24, CNN, whatever. At risk of straying from movies, I have to say I'm sicked by my own interest in the war in Iraq. I simply cannot get enough live updates! My New York Times subscription is fast filling up my hotmail inbox! I have the news playing in my room ceaselessly. Am I sick? Do I remind you of the American guy (whats his damn name) in 'The Living Daylights'? Hmm, I shall have to see someone about this.


Back to movies. 'The Two Towers' has now officially been discontinued at my local cinema, after a run of about four months. I am deeply saddened by this. Where was our 'Return of the King' preview? The first 'rings' film, as it drew to its cinematic dusk was coupled with a rather beautiful lengthened trailer of 'towers'. So where is the 'king' one? Damn Pete! Is it going to be THAT good? Are you keeping the seige of Minas Tirith under complete wraps? Is the battle of the Peleannor fields REALLY going to be as orgasmic as I hope and pray? Is Theodens bow going to hoof Gandalfs fall from Khazad Dum off of the best 'death' scene podium? Is Shelob going to be a spidery Harry Potter reject, or a sharling bitch of an arachnid that lives only to guard Mordor and leave Sauron to his own devices?

Will I once again be taken to Middle Earth and find (and I quote Artificial Intelligence) 'the place, where dreams are born'? Will the bittersweet ending that is, really be as much of the ultimate movie moment that it deserves to be? Surely it will. I have complete trust in my mate Pete. How much of the Scouring Of The Shire will be included? Will the finale to the greatest movie trilogy of all time end with the Mount Doom 'thing', or will we see the after effects of the cataclysmic/triumphant event that wil surely be the talking point of, hmm the entire following year? I wish to wait and see, because good things come to those who wait. This, my friends, will be beyond a good thing.

Watch Le Haine! (sp?)

Take care, This is Joey, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.
Honk if you love Josie's pussy(cats)! Miaowser!
Well, I must say I'm surprised. I guess you could say I came to the movie with some scepticism - not enough to stop me from purchasing it in DVD format, but then I always have been an impulse buyer [so many lovely fragrances! cough!] I just gotta say that I love that movie SO MUCH! [In case you haven't cottoned on: yes I am talking about the one and only Josie and the Pussycats]. I love it so much I don't know where to start. I guess I should start with the pussies themselves. Image-wise, they are pitch-perfect [you might hear the word a lot - the whole bloody movie is pitch-perfect!] I'm not really all that familiar with any of the three leads (Rachel Leigh Cook, Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson), but just seeing them posing on the DVD's sleeve makes me want to shout BINGO! I'm so sure that they look that good. Where next?

The stupid would call it hypocrisy, but there's just something I love about a movie that is willing to lower itself to the expectations of bubblegum pop movie fare. Product placement at its most gratuitous can be annoyingly cringeworthy, but it works wonders in Josie. The villains of the piece (Alan Cumming and Parker Posey) devise a fiendish plan "to control the youth of America through their music" (as it is put on the DVD sleeve), sending subliminal messages to the nation's teens on what's "jerkin'!" and what's not. It could have been left at that, but thank for the heavens above it wasn't. Cue a splendid game of 'Pin the tail on the company name' as you get showers cubicles imprinted with the McDonald's 'M' (avec some wonderful sponge 'thingies'), carpets emblazoned with the AOL logo, and hotel rooms with 'Revlon' signs as Art Deco. Pitch-fucking-perfect, I say.

I am curious of one thing however: the soundtrack. Not in terms of quality - it most definitely deserves its praise. While I'm not essentially a fan of angry chick music, I love this movie too much to not love its soundtrack. But reading the credits at the end, the songs were accredited to the eponymous 'Josie and the Pussycats'! The level of surprise hit a new, er, level. However, it soon dropped again when I found that the music was not supplied by the beautiful leads, rather Kenneth "Babyface" Edmunds, his wife Tracey, and the Kay Hanley - lead singer of Letters to Cleo (angry chick music, also prominent in 10 Things I Hate About You - I liked that too by the way - perhaps I'm a bigger fan of 'angry chick music' than I thought?), which is probably for the best - and it also makes a lot more sense - more than what I've just wrote anyways.

I'm not sure where else I can go from here really. All I really wanted to say was don't be fooled by your false modesty, watch this movie! It's great! And if you don't love it, then "I'm sorry that that bug up your ass had to die" [apologies if misquoted, and further apologies to Joey for continuing to bring up Austin Powers - I'll try my best to stop :)]


Where have all the visitors gone!?
Surely I don't smell that bad. If I have been leaving the odd stench behind me, then I do apologise. I have now had a bath. Perhaps that will make things better.

More seriously, however, I'm a bit dismayed that there's a lack in visitation of my beautiful blog. Sure, there's going to be a large percentage of the population with a social life who are actually out partying on a Friday night, but HEY, this is me we're talking about here. Get your act together!

Okay, well, I'm going to do my bit whatever! - continuing my little research project on this year's Sundance Film Festival:

So here I plough into Ms. Joey Potter herself, Katie Holmes. Firstly, if this is anything to go by, then Holmes in Pieces of April is certainly going to be something different. Unlike Seth Green, with whom I equate crap, with Holmes, as I have already noted, I equate Joey Potter. Period, as the Americans say. And I mean this as no disrespect. I absolutely adore Holmes and have yet to see her in something where I don't. For some reason I just equate Potter with Holmes, and Holmes with Potter, and I shall rightly apologise for such meandering. However, if any of you agree, then perhaps the pic linked to above is something of a "Wow! Doesn't she look different!" Perhaps I'm just being stupid, but that was my first impression. I'm not sure if I can comment more. The plot involves the efforts of a 'black sheep' to impress her less than appreciative family - and I guess this kind of dysfunctionalism is kind of reminiscent of Potter's family in Dawson's Creek: after her mum died of cancer, she had to be brought up by her big sister (who happened to be in a relationship with the only black person in Capeside - I'm sure there was just him, and he wasn't that black), after her dad was imprisoned for drug peddling. He later got put back in prison for the same offence - oh yeah, and it was her true love, Dawson that reported him. Oh, and she had a bit-on-the-side, chose him over her true love, but was duped, because guess what? He was GAY! See how her life was 'dysfunctional'. I think you do.

But I'm going to run along now, and watch my newly acquired Josie and the Pussycats DVD. You may hear from me later on Mrs. Cook (that's Rachel Leigh), but don't hold me to anything.

Pieces of April does not have a UK release date at this time.
Sprees - of the shopping variety
I'm flattered! Monumental!? [I wish]

Due to the extreme weight of Literature coursework on my puny shoulders, I haven't really had that much of a 'Greener' spree. I brought the offending Powers movies (and also the first half of Season 2 Buffy) with me to my grandmother's for the night, but doubt very much that I will watch them. I have, however, acquired some items in the past couple of hours. Namely, Zoolander and Rat Race on VHS, and Josie and the Pussycats on DVD. Chuffed as buggery about the purchase of Zoolander. Had I have had enough money to buy it the other day, at the extortionate price of £13.99, I would have missed out on the more bargain price of £5 today. I picked up Rat Race purely because of my little 'Greener' expose [I still haven't figured out how to do one of those French accent 'thingies' above the 'e'] early this morning, and Josie and the Pussycats because - well, because.

Now that I've had the chance to flaunt my purchases to you all however, I will run along and stuff my face with Italian food. If you're lucky, you may hear from me later. Hey, you may even be so lucky, that you don't!
It would seem very naiive of me to not acknowledge my official welcome to this monumental place of movie worship, therefore I am thanking you kindly Mr Russell for your grand introduction. Sex eh? Anyway I hope that your Seth Green (the name Seph is better, as in Joseph) spree goes well, but I would advise you to steer well clear of ALL 'Austin Powers' related movie material. It is beyond bad, and only a handful of intentional jokes in all three movies actually make me smile. No laughs though. Surely the 'zippit' jokes, that involve the 'greener' himself are, let me put this right... lame and unfunny and over-used and [insert favourite expletive here]. Yes, the cooly named Mike Myers is fairly amusing sometimes, but is he the proclaimed comic genius known to all under-15s that he says he is? Our survey says? Eh Huh! Sorry!
Anyhow, I am, at the time of publication, quite tired, so Im going home. Byee
Bogey on the wire!
Since I haven't quite learnt how to think for myself just yet, I'm going to continue my study of the Face-hyped actors of the Sundance Film Festival [see here and here]. Tonight's victim is Seth Green. [Now, there's just something about the name 'Seth' that I love. I think it's the way that cheeky little grin is cleverly hid under that fucking stonk of a moustache - see Emmerdale].

I can't really remember how I was first acquainted with the Greener. It was either Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Austin Powers that's for sure, but which came first? Like you're really going to know! But to save arguments with myself, I'll work chronologically, and say that I met Scott Evil before Oz the romantic werewolf. I guess that it's all besides the point anyhow, because I haven't really seen him in either role in ages, which may be a good signal to do so. I'll ponder that one. While I'm pondering, however, I just might fast forward a little, in the style of earlier posts, to see what he's up to next.

First up is his Sundance effort Party Monster, or the return of one Macauley Culkin. Remember him? [This is his first movie in 8 years after Richie Rich!] He (I'm still talking about the Greener) plays James St. James - what a great name I hear you scream - best friend to Culkin's Michael Aig, and the film's narrator. For both Culkin and Green, it seems, to me at least, they're shot at being 'serious' actors. I guess for Culkin this is really important in ditching the reputation given to him for the Home Alone movies, Getting Even With Dad, and the like. In contrast, I'd presume it wouldn't be so important for Green - for starters, it's not like many people have any preconceptions regarding him as a star. I think Seth Green and just think, well, crap, to be honest. But then, I guess it could also be more important. The move to 'serious' acting could be some sign of maturation. As Joey was saying regarding Sean Wiliam Scott, who's to say, that as a 'serious' actor, Green couldn't achieve in gaining some respect? I just hope that this is his breakthrough movie, otherwise Seth, what really is the point? I don't like to be too critical - at the end of day, Green's acting will always 100 times better than my own - but out of kindness, perhaps I should be more vocal. Hell, he's not going to read this anyways, so it's not like I should worry about hurting his feelings, but "SETH! Do you want to end up like Freddie Prinze Jr. Hell, he's married to Sarah Michelle Gellar, but is that really saying much? By the way, do you happen to know his father?"

I haven't even got on to the Italian Job remake yet. Not that what I've read gives any understanding of what role Green plays: a character named Lyle. I have seen the original 1969 movie - Mrs. Butler felt that it was relevant to our Latin course (Latin --> Romans --> Rome --> Italy --> The Italian Job - you can clearly see her line of thinking - WHAT THE FUCK!?) - but it has been a while. But then the speculated genre-switch from comedy to action may mean that having seen the original movie is irrelevant, though I am amused by the thought that he may be taking up Benny Hill's role in the original - that would be fucking hilarious!

The Italian Job is slated for a 12/09/03 UK release. Party Monster is, at time of publication - I've always wanted to say that - without a UK release date.


A new arrival!

Okay! I guess I should make a public announcement. The team [previously just a measly one] for this blog has just acquired a new member [now a prosperous two!]. Let me introduce you all to JOEY! Oh, you've already met? Well, slap my ass and call me slow!
Mars Attacks eh? Don't you just love that movie. I was only talking about that movie the other day with my 'other half' (though we're not wedded). She was not extremely impressed with it, but I personally find it delightful. I have the image of Tom Jones singing 'Its not unusual', the lights suddenly going out, and the backing dancers being replaced by rather camp looking Martians. Also, I can just see Jack Nicholson (a movie god) giving his little speach to the Martians as they burst into Congress. Wonderful. If I remember rightly, Mars Attacks escaped being strung up, however it never seems to have got the credit it deserves. Burton knew he had picked a great genre to parody, and he knew that with his sense of humour (see Nicholson's 'The Joker' in the first Batman film) he could pull it off. Half the decent actors in Hollywood also saw this, and signed up. Lets have a brief look down this parchment of top names: Jack Nicholson, Michael J Fox, Sarah Jessica Parker, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito, Lukas Haas, Tom Jones, and I could go on. Its a great example of actors (or their agents) recognising a good mix of director and story, and committing themselves to it over other projects, even though they are only given small roles. Its a complement to Tim Burtons talent. Another great thing about this film, is the score. Danny Elfman (who has been, dare I say it, a tad flat of late) composed a great number of high pitched themes, especially for the shots of the invading craft leaving Mars during the title sequence. The sub plots, though inconsequential, are cleverly woven in (eg. the Presidents daughter Taffy Dale, the Boxer and his family, and Tom Jones just HAPPENING to know how to fly a plane.) Many great pokes are had at many different genres, but even without these relatively easy comedy moments, the shots of Martains running over town playing a recorded message pronouncing "do not run, we are your friends" whilst systematically frying everyone in sight is hilarity on a scale of its own. Sick Burton humour, is still humour. More of that please... less of the Mark Whalberg and Charlton Heston type humour please. Now I've done it! I have spoken out about the faults of a film I'm supposed to love! To make it clear, the needless re-imagining of 'Planet of the Apes' was, nothing special, but not by any standards as bad as it was made out to be. It was however, much less than we have a right to expect of Tim Burton. Im going to end the POTA debate there. Back to 'Mars Attacks'. "Nice Planet, We'll Take it" is, or was a suitably cheesy tag line, for a suitably cheesy movie. But, to put a cheese topping on what was already a complete cheese cake, the notion of Slim Whitman being the noise that kills the creepy fish-bown-heads is magical. The shot of an obviously sadistic Martian slowly and deliberately wheeling an impossibly huge laser into point blank range behind the head of a blissfully unaware sweet (if slightly senile) old woman (who talks to her stuffed cat called 'Muffy') is piss-inducing comedic brilliance. Worth watching just for that.

Anyhow, surely I can find something to do that doesn't involve uninteresting waffle about good movies. Ah yeah, I shall deliver some flowers to my dearly beloved. Thanks for listening again! Take Care....... (you are not a one man band anymore Russell! - Except when you have your picture of Sissy Spacek)
It would seem that between rudely putting it off and forgetting and being inexplicably busy with less important things (isn't that always the way) I have finally found it in me to take a nice jaunt down to this delightful and wonderfully homely little place (which, I have to say, shows plenty of promise) and write about 'stuff'. (Sorry, a little bit of Moron Year 11 terminology there). I am going to be delightfully interesting and ponder what I shall write about. Ahh, Mr Taylor mentioned something about my interest in Mr Nick Stahl. I shall cotton onto that and add my own thoughts. I believe that is the idea is it not? Perhaps I have been given a different version of the truth but, to quote Ian Malcolm in 'The Lost World' "there aren't any versions of the truth" so I must be right. 'In the Bedroom' then..... A lovely and painfully serious movie that, despite having me in tears did not resort to cheap sentimentality to make its point. Sissy Spacek was (eh eh Russell!) nothing more than good, but Tom Wilkinson was pushing the boundaries of extremely good acting into something that more closely resembles remarkably good acting. Miss Tomei had a small role, but she lived it well, and one feels genuinely sorry for her predicamant. Should you have not seen this Oscar nominated trip into a world of suicidal depression and life hauntingly sad cinema, then you may well be happier and more of a radiant person for it, one who perhaps can now live their life without the constant tearful aftertaste of this movie, but you have certainly missed a masterful look into a family coping with death and berevement. Watching this movie is, as Dr Lecter once put it "rather like sucking on a greasy coin" in that it doesn't do much to brighten your day, but it is worth watching when you think YOU are sad, if only to show you how much worse things could be. Nick Stahl then. Without spoiling anything (err put two and two together!) Mr Stahls role is without announcement, and he has the look of an actor who is already gleefully scaling the hights of the Hollywood A list. This is far from the truth. It is the look that gives this impression. A confident, good looking, accomplished young actor he is, and a future busy-body in the world of "stack em, pack em and rack em" movie making (quoted from 'Die Hard 2' by the way). That knowing "im gonna get big pay packets after this role" smirk on his face is forgiveable, and ironic. With Arnold Schwarzenegger's ONLY eagerly anticipated movie ever, 'Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines' (with the possible exception of the King of the World himself James Cameron's True Lies 2 - excuse me while I rub my hands with genuine glee) starring Stahl as the slightly older (or is that younger?) John Connor being patched up with what you can bet to be Blade 2 style 'bad' special effects, it is likely that Stahl will be getting his bulging pay packet right about.... now. Still, does he have to do much to match the (and I search frantically for non-offensive words) looser/waster that is Edward Furlong? Furlong WAS good, but furlong IS NOT good. He no longer has that floppy haired "my mums a psycho" quality to him that made him so watchable. After being payed far too much far too early, he decided that the best way to further his promising career, was to..... become a fully fledged druggie. Nice going Ed! No I'm sorry, not the guy for the role anymore. Who else could capture the knowing qualities of the courageous leader of the freedom fighting rebels of future Earth? Lets look at some young promising actors. Whats that you say? All the young promising actors have been devoured by bad, cheap and unfunny American teen comedies? Well! Thats what I think too! Whats to say that had 'Final Destination', 'American Pie', 'Evolution' and 'Road Trip' never been made, the moron that is Sean William Scott wouldn't have become a fine actor? Its possible, and I believe likely. His cliched and (by now even the largest fan of bad movies would agree) boring role of 'the idiot' is getting tiresome. Those teeth are, not funny anymore. Who else is a victim of this phenomenon? The 'Sliders' star, and 'Scream 2' prime suspect Jerry O Connell is a prime example. The glint in the eye? Check. The handsome quality, strong enough to get women to go to an Arnie film? Check. Acting skills? Check! So where is he? Wheres his next big film? Oh, that WAS 'Scream 2'..... oh. I think I've made my point.

But surely, an accomplished and an even now 'promising' actor such as Nick Stahl will struggle if his lines compare to Arnies bad bad bad line of 'She'll be back'.
It will be interesting to see.

I hope that "amongst the inane babble" that I have been talking, (The Fellowship of the Ring) you have managed to realise that my views on movies are not shared by many. But I like to think of myself, not as the God that people hail me as, but as a simple, perfect guy. Take Care, and speak to you soon

"A Red Sun Rises, Blood has been Spilled this night"


Konnichiwa! How are you all? Great I hope. Well, despite the rapidly decreasing amount of time left until my personal coursework deadline, i.e. next Friday (the 28th?) - I'll be in Egypt for the two school weeks following that, so won't be able to hand it in then - I thought I might take a break to rant about the cuteness that is Lukas Haas! [Well, in Witness anyhow, which I have finally got round to watching.] He's so CUTE! Max Fischer may be cool (and my ideal self), but Samuel Lapp is a "CUTE, little Amish boy" (and my ideal son). God! He is so cute! I'm going to stop now, before all of you out there think I'm a hazard to the Island 'yoof'.

Next up is Bookies, which, like Spun, was big at the recent Sundance Film Festival. It stars the equally cool Rachel Leigh Cook, and a guy recently hyped by a friend of mine [though I can't remember why - that's not a dig, I honestly can't remember - besides, due to my extreme oafishness, I haven't seen this guy in ANYTHING. I don't think I have anyway], Nick Stahl. Again, as with Schwartzman's upcoming movies, there's little to go on. This one goes as far as not even having a trailer, well "pooey, Tiger!". But as the title suggests, the movie is about gambling. I'm going to keep my eye on this one. Hopefully, it's going to be worth it. In the time being, however, I will spend my time watching a couple more Haas movies: Mars Attacks more immediately, and, depending on cash supply and availability, Zoolander and Boys. Here's hoping. See y'all.

Bookies does not have a UK release date at this time. [I'm getting quite good at picking movies that aren't even scheduled for release here in sunny England methinks!]


Good evening to you all. Tonight's programme features a special guest appearance from Jason Schwartzman! Star of films such as Rushmore. I'm sure he's in other movies, I've just yet to watch them. [Though according to the imdb, I may have caught him in an episode of Sabrina without realising, but then can you blame me for not paying too much attention.]

[I feel as if I should tell you all that while I'm writing this, I'm also questioning myself why I'm acting with such blatantly, transparent self-importance. But I'm just getting embarassed - it's my first time. I'll continue.]

I don't know what it is about Rushmore that I love so much. It could possibly be its exceedingly good taste and subsequent ability to not be able to love it that much, then love it more because of it, but I'm not sure. What I am sure of is something inherently cool in its lead character Max Fischer, played by [you guessed it!] Arnold Schwarzenegger. Only kidding. Of course it was Jason Scwartzman. It's just something about the way he is. The way he comes out of the elevator after flooding Blume's hotel room with bees. The way he tries to win back Miss Cross by pretending he's been hit by the car - fake blood and everything. The coolest thing of all is his dedication to all of those extra-curricular activities. He's like the extremest version of my ideal, and I love him! Max Fischer - you're my hero.

Anyhow. Enough about the past. What about the foreseeable future? Next up, in the UK at least, is Spun. Now, I don't know too much about this movie. In fact, I've never heard of it in my goddamn life until this weekend. However, as I type, the 'Spun Cook Show trailer' is downloading, and so, I should know a slight bit more I hope. I am thinking, however, that there is going to be something of a difference between movies [Rushmore: "A determined student falls hard for a teacher at his prep school, as well as his mentor, an unhappy millionaire." Spun: "An out-of-control speed freak (Schwartzman) is introduced his drug of choice's creator by his dealer. A massive three-day adventure ensues." This could be interesting.]

Having just seen this 'Spun Cook Show' trailer, I'm none the wiser. Some guy cooks and bombs basically, before telling us to go see Spun. Very weird. The other trailer, however, is much more helpful. For me, this movie kind of looks like Requiem for a Dream. Was a little bit shocked by the sight of Leguizamo playing his wang, but on the whole, this movie looks shit up! It helps that it stars some of the coolest people ever - MENA SUVARI!, but, wow! I'm looking forward to this one.

And after that, you ask? [Or perhaps, and probably, don't.] Just Like Mona. Imdb don't really have much up on this for the time being, but there is some information on the premise on Greg's Preview Page: it's basically a semi-autobiographical account of director Joe Pantoliano's teenage years (where in Schwartzman plays the quasi-Pantoliano character) and his relationship with his mother (here played by Diane Lane). But that's more or less it. Unfortunately.

Neither Spun or Just Like Mona have UK release dates at the current time.
Okay. I'm still having trouble setting up the new blogspot. Basically, after a little embarassment regarding the front cover of Arena magazine [it involved that three letter word beginning with 's' and ending with 'x'], I bought the most recent issue of The Face instead. Fate couldn't have planned it any better.

If there's one thing that I really want to do, it's to be more creative. I can't stand people doing all this stuff outside of school, when I do so little. But now I've found domething. Inspired by the guys at Tagline, I've decided to set up something of a movie blogspot. And so here it is. I couldn't wait to create an entirely new blogspot, so just moved my previous one to this URL [if you need reminding, that's http://celluloidfreaks.blogspot.com], deleted all my previous posts and started afresh.
At the moment, it's pretty much a one-man band. And I do have other things to do, like school, my part-time job, and the small fragments that remain of my social life. But hopefully, I'll build a kind of empire. It would be cool to think that I could get a team working on this. Though, obviously, due to time constraints, I'm not going to hand out interviews and application forms. If you want in, then say so (by contacting me here).

Please keep in touch. I'd love a fanbase!